Well after a hellish few weeks Charlie seems to be stabilising. His blood counts are settling and he only needs a bag of platelets every other day now and a bag of blood every five days. I swear I think he must have had around 45 blood transfusions since he’s been in the hospital! But hey its just a number.
This week I’ve been in a Manchester state of mind. I managed to grab a few hours out in the city after which, far from being relaxed, I felt like I’d just landed on another planet! After 60 days in the hospital I walk slower, I can’t seem to process much of the grey matter anymore, so full it is of Charlie related information. We may only be in Manchester but we are so far away from where we once were its astonishing. Another phenomenon occuring is that I keep dreaming about the sea. Really think I’m at the beach so much so that I wake up rubbing my toes together trying to get the sand out from betwen them. In my dreams I can see Charlie so vividly as he was; a stocky, tall, bronzed mini Adonis running through the spray of the waves as they hit the shore. And the sound. The peacefulness of the waves rushing forward and falling back, the seagulls calling above us and Him laughing and shouting at them. I long to take him away from the drips and the drugs so that we can’t hear the creaking of the chemo seeping through the lines like synthetic crickets but that we can only be back there on that beach. One day, one day we will be there again. At least for now I can close my eyes at night and remember that beautiful free moment we had.
Charlie has now had his 6th round of chemo and there are only two more to go before we have another battery of scans for reassement to see if he is able to have surgery to remove the tumour. His consultant, Guy Makin at Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital seems to be fairly confident at the moment. So I’m sticking with him for he’s a man that knows a thing or two about the evils of Neuroblastoma.
On the fundraising side of the coin things are always cheery. So many people have been giving….not only their money but their time and efforts. A few to mention are Lytham Hall Park Primary School, King Edward & Queen Mary School, Myerscough College, Beaverbrooks, The Friendly Gym in Lytham, Peter Jebson, Beth Melia and friends from Walkden High School, The Rotary Club of Hyndburn and both Peter Wood and David Mullen who cycled and collected for Charlie in the Blackpool to Manchester Bike Ride. And most of all thank you to Natalie Rae, Jennifer Kilner and Janet Gibson for all their hard work in trying to get Charlie’s appeal moving.
My final word, as ever goes to Charlie. I can’t believe how well you are coping with the constant interruption of nurses and needles and temperature taking. The droves of people coming into your room every day must seem like a neverending nightmare to you as you find this so hard and value your solitude so much. I know having to communicate with everyone is exhausting for you and somehow on top of coping with cancer you manage to do this aswell. I shake my head in wonder at the sheer will of you. Keep marching on kid xxx